It’s Not About Being SuperMom

“I don’t know how you do it.”

I hear that a lot.  And to be honest, I don’t know how I do it either.  Believe me, I’m no SuperMom or SuperMaid or SuperWife. I guess it all comes down to having God change your priorities for you.  That, and learning to let go.  I’m still working on that one, because sometimes guilt is still attached to the “letting go.” 

I’m beginning to think that learning what’s important and what’s not is a lifelong lesson.  Sometimes the lessons come easy and sometimes they’re really tough.  I remember struggling with the decision to quit my job last Spring when we realized that Jenna was beginning to need to have someone with her all the time.  My supervisor and my staff thought I should just hire someone.  I couldn’t.  I prayed for an answer, but my sister put it in a better perspective for me when she told me about how she prays for boulders.  So, I looked back at all the little pebbles that God had thrown at me and prayed for a boulder to knock me in the right direction.  I got one, well, actually several, and suddenly the order on my priority list shifted – a lot.  These days I’m beginning to think that my priority list should be on my i-pod because it seems to have acquired a “shuffle” button.  Another lesson learned I guess.

Like most moms I know, I’m proud of my kids.  Joe’s having another great year at Shepherd and has really proven himself to be a self-motivated and driven young man.  He told me this week that he’s on-track with a 4.0 at mid-terms – and that’s with taking Organic Chemistry and Cell Biology along with his honors classes.  I wish I had the discipline that he does.   My bright and beautiful Jenna teaches me lessons each and every day.  She’s had to grow up way too fast in so many ways and I truly wish I could turn back the clock for her.  But I can’t.  So, we move forward, one day (and sometimes one hour) at a time. 

Yesterday,  we moved by hours.  I woke her early to get ready to go to the Apple Butter Festival and honestly thought she wasn’t going to make it, but she did.  She was determined to go for her boyfriend because she knew he loved it.  She made it through the parade and a couple of hours of meeting up with friends before I got the call that she was ready to go home.  She crashed immediately into a cycle of short narc attacks and seizures.  What brought her back?  The offer to get a sneak peek of some of her senior pictures.  So, we trekked across town, avoiding all the Apple  Butter traffic we could, and were once again amazed at the immense talent my sister is cultivating.   Suzanne gave Jenna a DVD with her boyfriend’s senior portraits as well and she couldn’t wait to share it with him and his mom.  We met up with them over their work breaks and Jenna was so glad to have been able to be there when they saw the pictures for the first time. 

Fast forward just one hour.  The narc attacks and seizures returned with a vengeance, only this time, the amnesia came along for the ride.  Our evening reminded me a lot of the movie, “50 First Dates.”  Jenna would go out for a couple of minutes and every time she came back I had to explain who I was, where we were, and assure her that her dogs wouldn’t bite her.  We had to do “tours” of her room and the house to help her get her bearings.  I had to soothe her when she caught glimpses of her picc line and panicked because she didn’t remember why she had it.   Convincing her that she really did have to take all her evening meds (and her insulin shots too) was a real feat.  She finally got some relief when the meds kicked in and she could get to sleep.

So, last night, priorities shifted.  The laundry sat, the dirty dishes are still waiting, and my virtual assistant projects didn’t get finished.  And that’s okay.  Joe made it to his girlfriend’s house safely after attending the WVU football game.  Chris survived the first day of the Apple Butter Festival and Jenna was able to fall asleep before 2AM.  I got a few solid hours in before the dogs decided they needed out at 5AM and just opened my email to find some great new GF recipes from a friend.  So, I’m ready for the new day and the new week.  And if He sees fit to shuffle my priority list again, well, I suppose I’ll just have to deal with it…because at the end of the day, I guess that is “how I do it” —  because I can’t often ask (in Jenna’s words) “what are my options?”


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