Grieving and Green Beans

I canned 10 quarts of tomatoes yesterday and plan on making homemade salsa today. Thursday brings a quick trip to DC and then laundry on Friday, again. If you had asked me what I’d be doing this particular week a couple years ago, I would have told you that it was going to be a very special week…the week our Jenna would leave for college. But that’s not happening, at least not this year, and probably not next.

Jen’s truly happy for all of her friends who are leaving on their first grand “off to college” adventures this week and next. And admittedly, she’s jealous – after all, she’s planned on attending college since she was old enough to understand what it was. I’m jealous, too, of the whole situation that so many just take for granted…the dorm room shopping, the sorting and packing, the heart-to-hearts and lectures about never going out alone at night and learning to live independently. It’s just not fair, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that life isn’t fair. And, yes, I’m whining, enough for both of us, because Jen is incommunicado for awhile, not just because it breaks her heart over and over again to keep up with Facebook posts, but because she’s also having a tough time on the new treatment protocol and getting out of bed without falling is an accomplishment.

Even though we’ve known for at least a year that Jen was going to be on a different track, I think this week has been the toughest for both of us. We knew it was coming and tried to prepare for it, but she’s grieving for a lost dream and I don’t have all the answers. So, we’re keeping busy, as best as we can…can…anyone have any extra green beans??


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